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哈佛大学本科申请文书范文—2023录取文书范文(一)

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  • 来源:互联网
  • 时间:2023-12-28 16:32:08

文书对美本本科申请非常重要,今天高途留学为大家整理了哈佛大学本科申请文书范文系列文章,帮助大家书写文书,今天先来看看哈佛大学本科申请文书范文—2023录取文书范文(一)

哈佛大学本科申请文书范文—2023录取文书范文(一)

英文范文原文

Marina's Essay

It's 8AM. Dew blankets the grass under my bare feet as my small hands grasp the metal of the backyard fence. I lift my heels, summoning enormous power in my tiny lungs as I blare out a daily wake-up call: ""GIRLS!"" Waiting with anticipation for those familiar faces to emerge from their homes, my mind bursts with ideas eager for exploration.

Years later, at the corner of our yards, gates magically appeared; an open invitation connecting the backyards of four mismatched homes. The birth of the ""Four Corners"" inevitably developed into lifelong friendships and became the North Star in the lives of absolute strangers who have become family. As parents bonded at the gates, discussing everything from diapers to first dates, the kids took advantage of overlooked bedtimes and late night movies. Today, I launch into adulthood with the imagination, leadership, and confidence born from adolescent adventures.

Behind corner #1 lived the Irish neighbors, where I embarked on a culinary exploration of corned beef and cabbage served during the annual St. Patty's celebrations. My taste buds awakened with the novelty of a peculiar dish that seemed to dismiss the health hazards of sodium chloride, an element that conjures up mental images of chemistry experiments. With U2 playing on the speaker, and parents enjoying a pint of Guinness, adolescents discussed inventions that could lead us to a pot of gold; from apps that would revolutionize the music industry, to building a keg cooler from a rubber trash can (and yes, we actually tried that). Endless playtime and conversations fueled the gene of curiosity which molded my creative thinking and imagination.

Behind corner #2, vibrant Italians cheered on the creation of zip lines and obstacle courses, which taught me a thing or two about Newton's Laws of Motion. Body aches from brutal stops provided lessons in physics that prompted modifications. This inventive spirit during backyard projects required testing, redesigning, and rebuilding. I wanted to conquer the yard and use every square inch of it. My swimming pool hosted ""Olympic Games"", where the makeshift springboard I built would have made Michael Phelps proud. I dove into projects, disregarding smashed fingers and small fires. Through persistence and sheer will, repeated failures became a source of progress for all to enjoy. These lessons served me well when diving into the Odyssey of the Mind Competitions.

Corners #3 and #4, where Cuban roots run deep, entertained countless activities opening a world of learning and exploration. 1AM backyard stargazing encouraged my curiosity; the night sky like a blank slate, ready to be lit up with discovery. Through the eye of the telescope, I traced stars that were millions of miles away, yet filled my tent like fairy lights. Questions merged in a combinatorial explosion that only led to more questions. Could a black hole really cause spaghettification? Do the whispered echoes of dead stars give a clue to how old our universe truly is? Years later, at the FPL Energy, Power, and Sustainability Lab, conversations about smart grids, electric vehicles, and a possible colonization of the moon would take me back to that backyard camping, propelling my desire for exploration.

In my little pocket of the world, I embrace the unexpected coincidence that struck 20 years ago, when four families collided at the same exact moment in space and time. My Four Corners family, with their steadfast presence and guidance, cultivated love, maturity, risk-taking, and teamwork. Through my adventures, I became a dreamer, an inventor, an innovator, and a leader. Now, fostering my love for learning, spirit of giving back, and drive for success, I seek new adventures. Just as I walked through the magical gates of my beloved Four Corners, I will now walk through transformational thresholds to continue on a journey that began as a girl, at a fence, with a heart full of hope and a head full of possibilities.

点评:

如果你没有刻骨铭心的经历或者战胜难以置信的困难,感觉没有什么有趣的素材创作文书,那么Marina的文书写作思路就是一个很好的解决方案。Marina通过回忆童年时光在充满朋友的社区中的快乐经历,利用生动的细节和感官语言与读者产生共鸣,让不认识她的人第一时间窥见塑造她的世界。

这篇文书最强大的一点是Marina生动的叙述,它涵盖了所有五个感官:和她一起,我们可以感受到“赤脚在有露水的草地上”湿润而多刺的感觉;听到年幼的Marina的声音在“每天的唤醒电话中吸收着我微小肺部的巨大能量”;嗅到和品尝到“似乎对氯化钠的健康危害置之不理”的咸白菜;看到“像童话般的灯光一样填满我的帐篷”的遥远星星。这种具体的语言确保了文书不会显得普通,很明显只有Marina(或者也许是她后院的朋友之一)才能写出这篇独特的文书。

Marina的作品还很好地实现了申请文书的另一个目标:利用生活中的小事件更广泛地展示自己的核心特质,展示深深扎根的信念、生活哲学的形成或者已经成为一个决定性品质的个性特征。在这种情况下,Marina展示了她的后院冒险,如何揭示了她对STEM学科的热爱,在她的申请材料中有更详细的探讨。烹饪课成为“化学实验”,建造滑索成为“牛顿运动定律”课程,对星星进行哲学思考为“FPL能源、动力和可持续性实验室实习,智能电网、电动汽车和可能的月球殖民”奠定了基础。这种成功的展开使得Marina既能坚定地表明她学术激情的根源深厚,又能将她年轻时的热情转化为重要且有意义的课外活动。

然而,还有一些误区Marina本可以避免。其中之一是刻板印象的危险:将爱尔兰家庭与咸牛肉、圣帕特里克节、U2、吉尼斯啤酒和金币联系在一起,可能会听起来文化不敏感或轻视,尤其是其他家庭没有得到这样的陈词滥调。另一个误区是使用过多的修饰语,比如形容词和副词,有时会使文章听起来不真实。在这里,第一句话中,每个名词都伴随着形容词,每个动词都是常用动词的不常用近义词,可能会显得过于矫揉造作。

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